Rainy Days

I sit here this afternoon while Heidi sleeps and the other kids are watching a movie feeling uninspired and completely unmotivated to fold the laundry that waits, to scrub the kitchen floor that threatens to not release us from the stickiness of spilled milk and to instead curl up with a blanket and a book. But alas! If I don't do the work today it will be glaring at me first thing tomorrow morning.

Rainy days seem to slow me down in multiple ways. Yes. I become unmotivated to do my work because I feel sluggish but I find I am more contemplative. My mind doesn't churn as much. I am not looking at my to-do list because I am ignoring it completely. This gives me time to think beyond right now and time to recall those things I tuck away in my heart and mind to bring back another time. I find myself reminding myself that life is fleeting and trivial things like sticky milky floors hold no eternal value whatsoever. But holding my kids, responding to them in patience instead of irritation and letting them watch a movie just for fun is what rainy days are for. To slow me down from my constant spin cycle.

So I am basking in the quietness and thinking about life. Have you figured out what makes life worth living? Have you figured out what you want to spend your energy on? Have you decided what in life is worth going after? I wrestle with this on an almost daily basis.

Yesterday I saw a post on Erin Henderson's blog (http://fullhousehandshearts.typepad.com) about a little baby born on mother's day who needed to be placed immediately. I thought, "How many people would put aside their comfort to jump at the chance to provide a loving home for this baby girl?" And yes....I did inquire about her but I knew there wasn't a chance since we do not have an updated home study. My point is this: why are people so scared of the risks? Why can't people see the depth of need and put aside their fears to embrace a child?

I read something yesterday that for some reason unlocked something in me. I can't explain what it did internally except that it solidified what I feel I am here on this earth to do. There is a blog of a woman that I follow regularly. She is in her early fifties and still bringing children home. They have 3 biological children and 7 children who are adopted. She inspires me because she gets it!! She wrote on mothers' day the following: If you notice Psalm 127:3 says, "The fruit of THE womb is His reward." It doesn't say whose womb....just THE womb. All children are a reward from Him!

I don't know why this blessed me so tremendously. I think because so often I feel alone in my thoughts that my children are a reward. So often I hear annoyance in people's voices when talking about their children. And trust me - I get annoyed plenty with my kids!! I am human! And sharing space with many little ones can get taxing at times. My question is if scripture is clear children are a reward, that they are a blessing why do we try to hold God at a distance? Aren't we always asking Him to bless us? What if He is trying and we are resisting? What if the blessing is in having to sacrifice more of you in order for Him to strengthen you and equip you to parent another child?

I just love that all children are a reward!! And on that note if you have a few minutes (or more) take the time to check out www.nogreaterjoymom.com I don't know the last time I have been so touched by a story. The heart of this couple is refreshing and inspires me to not think so narrow minded. Just read March and April posts if that is all you have time for. My heart has been enlarged and has made me appreciate the heart of the Father even more. Because I think they portray His heart incredibly well. You will be glad you took the time - I promise.

Now it is off to tackle my list! I am going to scrub some floors and fold some laundry and reward myself by curling up with a book later tonight when the munchkins are in bed.