Toy Eating Couch

Had the carpets cleaned today and found a wonderful assortment of missing game pieces, puzzle pieces, crayons, pretzels....you get the idea. Basically everything you can imagine except for any of the children. Felt a bit embarrassed but figured the guys who were cleaning the carpets have seen worse. At least I hope.

So I am left wondering.....can I re gift any of the lost and now found items to my children? Seems logical since they have been missing for so long.

Of course I am kidding since I am already almost finished with Christmas shopping for my kids. If only I would have had the carpets cleaned a month ago.........

Orphan Sunday

As most of you know.....it is orphan Sunday. My heart is burdened as always but with a bit more intensity lately. Knowing there are 143 million orphans is heart wrenching. Did you know that if those 143 million orphans held hands and stood in a row they would reach around the earth 4 times? Staggering!!

When we started on our journey to bringing Eden home I would never have dreamt that God would take the plight of the orphan and brand it on my heart. He didn't just stamp it - he branded me for life!!

On a daily basis I ask God what it is that I need to do. I cannot walk away from what I saw and not do something. I cannot read the stats and just walk away. I cannot stare into the faces of these precious children and assume that someone else will do something.

It is my responsibility! My job! Until the day I die I will be outspoken for these children. To the point of obnoxiousness possibly.

On that note (and this is the post I said has been swimming in my mind) I will just ask for anyone who reads my blog to go to this link and seriously consider bringing this child home. And for the record....this post hasn't even gotten started!! I have much to say but need to still figure out how to say everything with as much grace as possible.

http://ordinaryheroblog.blogspot.com And towards the end of this post make sure you click on her post about meeting her sons birth mother. Read it! Let it go deep! Allow yourself to mourn and yet rejoice with this woman! This is life people!

James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Time for Heidi

Are you ready for the rolls? Because we have some very sweet rolls at this house!! From the back she looks exactly like Shane when he was a baby! Same head shape and hair. Although she has hardly any hair. Maybe someday....

And from the front she looks like Shane too! In fact, we have started calling her Shane Junior. Or Jr for short!

And since Shane loves babies and especially Heidi he is beyond pleased knowing she resembles him.

Honestly...is it just me or does time seem to be in overdrive? I have numerous posts that have been swirling in my head and haven't had the time to get my thoughts out. But before I can embark on all those things I have a sweet little girl to write about.

Where to start? At the beginning I guess. I so vividly remember the day I found out I was pregnant with her. I was just getting over mono, starting to feel pretty good yet was a bit suspicious. We had taken the two older boys to a local amusement park to spend the day on the water slides. I had mentioned to Mark that I was a bit suspicious but we both dismissed it since it seemed so highly unlikely. I went into the bathroom and saw these two cute little girls holding hands, whispering and giggling. One was African-American and one was Caucasian. In that instant I felt this whisper in my heart that I was looking at our future. I was not okay with that thought. I decided the next day to pick up a pregnancy test when I was at the grocery store. I came home and took the test while Mark was bathing Tristan and Eden. I ran up the steps crying and showed Mark the test. I was a bit hysterical especially when I realized Mark was so excited!!

Fast forward to now! Oh..how incredibly grateful and honored I am to parent this beautiful little girl! Literally everyday Mark and I talk about what we would be missing if she weren't here. Seriously...everyday!

What has been one of the best parts of the past year is the work God did in my heart! I was so confident that I was open to whatever the Lord wanted to bring my way. But when he disrupted my plans and things felt outside of my control I realized how much I still wanted to maintain control of my life. I have so far to go but I know my heart is softening and I desire more than ever to embrace the blessings God has for me!

Those of you who know me or who have read my blog for a while know that Heidi was definitely not an easy baby. I had so many days when I just wanted to dig a hole somewhere and hide. But now...she brings immeasurable joy to my day! She still is happiest at home without extra chaos but is starting to handle crowds a bit better. I am amazed by her. Her smile is always ready and she needs no prompting to display it! She is beginning to move around surprisingly well for just an army crawl. I am going to have to invest in a gate real soon so she is safe from the steps.

I am feeling extremely inept today at getting my feelings out. It may have something to do with the interruptions of the other two little ones. Mark took Shane and Judah to his sister Joyce's college field hockey game. I thought that I would have time to finish up this post with minimal disturbances but how silly I was to assume such a thing.

Today I am eternally grateful for the gift God gave us when He entrusted us with Heidi. As always I desire to love her, guide her, lead Her to the Father and set her free to walk in what He has laid out for her. She is the best surprise of my life, hands down!!!

Eden Joy

I have seasons as a mother where I tend to enjoy a child more when they are asleep because they are somewhat contained, you know? They aren't getting into anything, they aren't being sassy - they are just being! Obviously I am referring to Eden right now. We are just in this strangely difficult season right now. I love her beyond belief! After the day is over and I can sit without her climbing all over me I can focus on all the cute things throughout the day, get a bit of perspective and gear up for the next day.

Problem is.....,she has been giving me lots of problems during the night so I have to gear myself up for the night and hope I make it to the next morning with energy for the day. For about 2 months now she has been awake anywhere for 1-2 hours. On average three nights a week. Awake, alert, standing next to our bed with a grin on her face all ready for the ensuing battle. I walk her back to her room, return to bed, doze off and about 15 minutes later she is standing next to the bed again with the same grin. Oh.......she knows how to get under my skin in a heartbeat. Last night a little over an hour into the "fun" she had to pee. Then she wanted to brush her teeth (um...NO), said she had to poop (I doubt it), needed a drink......you name it she thought of it! She amazes me in her ability to stick with a fight. Sound familiar? Kind of like her older brother Shane?

She really does remind us of Shane a lot! Same incredibly sweet heart and same incredibly stubborn tendencies! Her and Shane are somewhat inseparable. They are together most of the time and get along so well!

She definitely gets into things way more than the boys ever did. If she is quiet for more than 2 minutes there is a problem. If you say, "Eden. What are you doing?" You hear a quick, "Nothing!" followed by frantic feet rushing from the scene of a crime. It is sometimes lotion, sometimes soap, sometimes in Heidi's bed, sometimes in the refrigerator. She is so quick.

I also have never had a child try to get away with things like she does. It is almost humorous! Case in point: two weeks ago I couldn't find her. I was walking through the house calling her name. I found a little chair next to the kitchen counter with an empty gum wrapper. She had asked me for a piece of gum a few minutes prior and I had told her no. The evidence was fairly incriminating. The problem was I couldn't seem to find her anywhere. Walking through the house, calling her name, looking outside wondering how a child can disappear in 2 minutes time. I walked through the living room again and I don't recall if I saw the cushion on the couch move or if she made a noise. Either way I found her wedged behind the cushion on the couch with a piece of gum in her mouth. I very kindly removed the gum from her mouth. Little stinker!

I look at her so often and am so incredibly grateful that God brought her to us!! I have learned so much from her and God has done a deep work in our hearts through her and our journey to her. Something has begun to happen in our relationship that was missing before. She feels like my daughter!! We still have a ways to go but there is a connection that is happening that is running much deeper. I am more aware of the areas of attachment that need more attention and I believe that bond will only deepen.

I love her sparkly eyes, her bouncy self, her giggle, her hugs, her singing, her tenacity, her vivaciousness and her larger than life personality.

I could write so much more about our recent struggles but this post has been plenty long enough. I will bare my soul a bit someday soon and see if anyone can relate to some of the things we have been struggling with.

It is now 10:30 and I should haul myself off to bed since I never know what the night will bring. Well....I am usually fairly confident that the night will bring lack of sleep but I am beginning to think sleep is way, way overrated!!

Love Abounds

And in this moment the mom who happens to look out the window realizes that they do indeed love each other! There are moments of toleration and there are moments of genuine love and enjoyment of each other!

Compassion Being Formed

About a year ago, I made a photo book on snapfish of the first few months of Eden being in our family. I don't have a baby book for her so I put the referral pictures we received from our agency, pictures of us meeting her, pictures of Ethiopia...you get the idea. On the second page there is a close up picture of her face after being placed in my arms. She isn't crying but looks sad with tears in her eyes. You can't tell I am holding her though. Fast forward to today. I hear Tristan crying as he walked out towards the living room from Eden's bedroom. He was holding the book and just sobbing. I sat down with him and asked him what was wrong. He pointed to the picture of Eden (you can see it if you look closely) and said, "She is sad." I tried to assure him and tell him she was okay. That it was Eden when she was a baby but she was okay now. He stopped crying and I thought we had processed everything and were good. About 5 minutes later I hear these gut wrenching sobs. I am talking grieving sobs. I found him again with the book on the couch and the sobs coming out of him sounded like his heart was breaking. I am not exaggerating. I don't know that I have ever heard those kinds of sobbing cries from my children. Again I asked him what was wrong and he pointed to that same picture. He said, "She needs her momma. She is sad."

People...I was flabbergasted. Have you ever had a moment where you felt like God was touching and shaping the heart of your child? I am confident that my son's heart was being touched deeply. I prayed quietly, asked God to take the compassion deep and seal it on his heart. I again assured him that Eden was fine and was with her momma now. I don't know what all went on internally in him today but I know it was something amazing and I am thankful that I got to be with him to hold him, assure him and experience it with him.

And this is what Eden thought while Tristan was crying. Big joke!

And batman's apprentice flew into our living room the other day. She is pretty cute and working on her flying skills.

Heidi and her dear brother Shane who helped her into her disguise. Look how big she is! I had her to the doctor for her 6 month check and she weighed in at 17 pounds! She has great rolls!! She is rolling both ways and is starting to pull her knees up under her to scoot around. It amazes me that we are to this point already. She is such a sweety!

On to my man Tristan

Funny how my random name drawing has resulted in the three boys going before the girls. Funny stories first. Tristan has just been through potty training and is somewhat obsessed with the new appendage that is now a bit more accessible than before. At our house we do not do code names for body parts - we teach them the real names. One evening I overheard Tristan and Eden talking about who was a boy and who was a girl. They seemed a bit uninformed or either confused so I decided to help set them straight. I said to Tristan, "Honey. Eden is a girl and you are a boy. What do boys have?" To which he replied, "A penis." So I said, "And what does a Eden have?" Keep in mind we have not ventured into the technical terms for girls yet. Tristan said to me, "Eden has a butt." Followed by "God needs to work on her penis." Uh....honey....God did work on her and she has everything she will ever have. I laughed for a long time and still get a good chuckle when I think about how serious he was.

I know I have said before that he kind of gets stuck on certain things and that is all he thinks about. He gets stuck on things like balloons and alphabet letters. Recently his obsession has been gum and a game called Hullabaloo. The game is made by Cranium and he just loves it!! It has different shapes and colors of pads that have pictures of animals, instruments or food on them. There is a battery operated instruction thingy (for lack of a better term) that plays music and gives instructions. Like...stomp to a circle, spin to a food, jump to a square, give high fives to as many players as you can reach, crawl to a blue, freeze!!! If you are standing on the drums you are a winner! Winner....do a victory dance! Well, Tristan has been playing this game for days now for hours at a time. When he wins he shouts out "I'm a winner!!" But he gets so frustrated when he doesn't win. Now, instead of spreading out the pads he keeps them in a pile, sits on them and proclaims he is a winner every time. It is so blasted cute!!


I have seen a transition happen and I am not sure when it all transpired. He is one of the boys now. Judah and Shane have always loved him and been patient with him. But he is now included in a lot of their play. I love watching the friendships form since I have always wondered if he would feel like the odd man out being younger than them.

Some of my favorite things about him are his goofy humor, listening to him as he plays and snuggling with him in bed if he gets up before I have to bail out of bed. We used to snuggle almost every morning and now it is rare but so treasured! Some of his favorite things are streaking through the house after going to the bathroom with me in pursuit, watching Thomas the Tank Engine, reading stories and snuggling.

One of my other favorite things is hearing him yelling at Eden. Somehow we started calling Eden "E". Not all the time obviously but it is kind of our endearing name for her. I was always Matilda, Missy, pumpkin....just typical endearments. She has become E. Suits her. The greatest part about it though is when Tristan is frustrated with her. You hear this piercing "EEEE" and then her little feet running away from him as fast as possible. Oh! She loves to antagonize.

He is a delight and not a night goes by that I don't fall deeper in love with him when I kiss him on my way to bed. He is an all out sleeper - sprawled out everywhere. And he always wants a cup of water with ice when he climbs in bed. He is sweetness for sure.