We breeze through every winter pretty much unscathed by the typical colds, flu's, illnesses, etc. When April rolls around though things begin to change. I cannot figure out why we get all the sickness in the spring and summer. What a drag! It makes a whole lot more sense to be sick in the winter when you are all cooped up inside with little to do. Over the past two months Heidi has had 3 ear infections. Tristan and Eden are both being treated for strep right now and the doctor assured me there is a high possibility that Heidi will also get strep since she has a lot of exposure. I hate having my children on antibiotics for many different reasons but the biggest reason is how crabby they get! Oh well!!
Heidi is completely weaned now and is sleeping a lot better. Except for the disruptions from getting teeth and ear infections. I don't mind nursing and actually enjoy the bonding that happens while nursing. I don't mind taking my baby with me everywhere but I must say I love the increased energy I am feeling!! I forgot how much nursing drains a person!!
We celebrated Eden's 3rd birthday this past week and she loved all the attention. I will post a few pictures when I get the chance. She asked specifically for shoes, chocolate and hats for her birthday!! I think she likes getting shoes and clothes more than toys which is fine with me. I am a practical person and the fact that she asks for things that she needs is great! Then I don't have to step on, trip over and get hurt by the extra toys all over the floor!
I finally relented after 7 months of daily fights with Eden about peeing in her pants. I did what I never thought I would do - I put her in pull-ups! I was so tired of the daily battle and it seemed to be eroding our relationship in a hurry! I was continually frustrated with her and didn't like her very much. It was so purposeful and it made me exceedingly angry when she would smile at me upon peeing her pants. She was getting a lot of satisfaction out of seeing me visibly angry and frustrated. I was having a harder time remaining robotic and was becoming more emotionally involved. I kept asking God for wisdom in how to break through to her little heart. Two weeks ago, on Saturday, I was folding laundry. I decided to see just how many pairs of underwear we had gone through in the 3 days since I had last done laundry. She had peed in 14 pairs of underwear!! I didn't even look at how many pairs of pants, skirts, shorts we had gone through as well! I sat on my bed, looked at the stack of underwear and in that moment realized it just isn't worth the fight!! Yes, she has control over her peeing. She had been completely and totally potty trained for 2 months with no accidents. But what we were dealing with was a battle for control over me and she was winning! She was manipulating me in a huge way and I was finished!
I got out the pull-ups that she wears to bed and told her we were done with undies! She was a little upset but I told her when she is all done peeing in her pants we can get undies out again. And you know what? Over the past two weeks she has hardly peed in her pull-up at all. And I think a large part is because I just don't care! I don't care if she pees in the pull-up because it isn't soaking her pants. I don't care if she pees in the pull-up because she isn't peeing all over the bathroom floor. But the most marvelous thing of all isn't the fact that she isn't peeing in her pants anymore. The most marvelous thing is the fact that we like each other - a whole lot more! She is changing right in front of me! She is becoming more affectionate, more helpful and just plain sweet!! I actually like my little girl again! Please don't misinterpret what I am saying - I have always loved her dearly. Just had plenty of moments over the past months that I didn't like the actions she was exhibiting very much. But taking away the battle has eliminated the power struggle!!
I don't know when we will begin using undies again. Right now it just feels wonderful not having the constant battle! I know in the eyes of many it may seem like I gave up, we digressed, that she ultimately won, etc. But for me this feels right and I think it was the wisdom I was begging God for. I have always known this is not a potty issue. It runs much deeper for her. And I am more concerned about the healing of her heart than her success with the potty!!
4 comments:
Excellent perspective!
Relationship matters way more!
Becky, you're such a great Mom!
P.S. I'm going to get back to you soon :)
Such a good idea, Becky!
I neglected to read your blogs for a little. Caught up tonight. Great stuff! You're an amazing mother!
Love ya,
Ada
I had a power struggle with Jacob over potty training too. I may have shared this with you already. After months of battling, I said, 'You tell me when you are ready to use the potty.' We put pull ups on him and never mentioned another word about it. About a month later, he said, "I'm ready to wear big boy pants like Pap." I got out his underwear and he never had another accident again. With some kids it is a matter of control, and when you think about it, it makes sense. There is very little about their lives that they have true control over. Especially with all of the hurdles Eden has gone through, in her mind, it's one area of her life where she is in the driver's seat. After seeing the toll the potty battle took on Jacob, I promised I would not make the same mistake with Andrew. It goes how it goes. Now, if I could just get myself to adopt that attitude all the time! :)
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