Monday, June 28, 2010

The Daily Grind

Sometimes I wonder what I have done in the past few days that could possibly be entertaining enough that someone would want to read about it. I am really nothing special, you know? I am just a mom doing the same thing daily. Wishing I could roll over in the morning when I hear little feet hit the floor, wishing we had a dog to clean up the spills on the floor at breakfast, wishing someone else would make all the beds, etc. My days are just normal days that feel as though they have little impact on the world at large. But I guess the only thing that really matters is that I am impacting, in a positive way, the world within my home.

I am learning that the thing that steals my contentment the most is comparison. You read blogs, books or stories of people that truly seem to have it together. You know the ones - they have 10 children, they run marathons, they homeschool, have a farmette and are self-sufficient, are getting their masters, you name it! They can do it!

I am not that person. It honestly took a session on my counselors couch to assure and convince me that having 5 children is not a walk in the park. It is doable for sure. But not easy in any way. The needs and demands are high. The feelings of failure are great. The moments of joy are sweet. The peace at the end of the day is tangible.

And I really cannot compare myself to others. It is a bad slope to begin sliding on because it is steep. I am who I am. It is not productive for me to sit around and compare myself to other women. Who I deem better moms because they are more creative, spontaneous, patient and pleasant.

I cannot compare but I do have to take responsibility for my actions that do not exhibit the heart of God to my children. I am quick to overreact to typical childish behaviors in my children. Quick to become annoyed with their needs. You name it - just not right.

Am I ever going to be perfect? Nope. But I can continuously work towards being a better me! Towards the woman God ultimately had in mind when He set about creating me.

So...the daily grind around here is fairly boring. Until your boys come in boasting about how many snakes they caught with some playmates, until your son tells you that his forehead will soon be a fivehead (one guess who said it since it involves numbers), until someone drops their entire bowl of rice on the floor at dinner, until someone attempts to pee in hopes of receiving a chocolate chip reward (I am getting desperate for a certain someone to pee in the potty) and well....you get the picture.

Life seems predictable but yet I never know from one day to the next what will be spoken or done that will have me laughing. Some days it is something a child says. Today Judah asked me why I was laughing while Tristan and Eden were both crying loudly. I simply said, "I can either yell too or laugh. So today I am just going to laugh." Who knew I would laugh almost to the point of tears with Judah while the other ones screamed in the background? Or that I would again laugh to the point of tears when the rice got spilled everywhere. Have you ever tried cleaning up rice? I am sure my children thought their mother must be loosing her mind to laugh at such things today. And you know what? I wondered the same thing. :)

2 comments:

Charity Hildebrand said...

Oh Becky, that's why I love reading your blog. You are so REAL and HONEST! I love reading about what God is teaching you and, of course, seeing all the pictures of your adorable kiddos! You are a great Mom! I know how hard it can be, and I only have two so far! Keep writing, I am so encouraged by reading your thoughts :)

Meredith said...

You keep on keeping on, honey! PTL there's forgiveness and no condemnation when we see and confess our failings! Live in that freedaom!~Edithb