Reason to Celebrate

Today we have two very fun things to celebrate. One is much more monumental than the other but both will be celebrated! The first exciting thing is Shane is now cast free!! The walking cast came off this morning and after all the kids had a good whiff of the cast decided it needed to be placed in a bag to make the trek home. So no more of the following shenanigans!!

He is pretty happy although it will take a while to feel steady on his "new" leg. He is shuffling around and being very tentative but the doctor said he will probably have a limp for almost two more weeks. Which means I am pretty sure I will be winning the bet against my husband which was this: he was sure Shane would be running in a day and I said probably not likely. So....I am going to request a nap as my winnings!! Sounds lame (no pun intended) but it would be like water to my soul right now.

Second celebratory happenings at our house today - Heidi has now graced our lives for a full year. Yup!! She has her first birthday and the kids are beyond excited!!

I love this picture of Heidi in her swing. The crazy eyebrows, the rolls on her tiny arms, the little dimple high up on her cheek.....

Looking a little more "normal". She enjoys flying in her swing and giggles profusely as we push her. Tristan and Eden always offer to push her but end up getting hit by the swing on its return flight. Not sure how long it will take them to learn to step back a bit. Until they do it will be bruises and tears!

She loves watching the train with everyone else now. When she hears a train coming she scurries to the couch and waits for someone to help her up. The train never gets old and I never tire of watching the wonder on their faces as they count the cars and state the color of the cars as they pass.

I love her!! She is precious beyond words!

Playing pat-a-cake with Shane. She likes to clap her own hands now.

I am so grateful for this little girl. Having another little girl in the house has been very fun. But in true fashion I am going to be honest as well. Buckle up people.

This year has also been one of the hardest years of my life. That sounds dramatic, right? I have had to push through loads of fatigue, dig down deep into reserves I didn't know existed (and sometimes the reserves are empty) and have muddled my way through loving my family in the midst of it all. I have messed up countless times and many days want to sit and cry from sheer exhaustion. This little girl still gets up 5-6 times - every night!! I occasionally get a 3 hour stretch of sleep. Usually it is just shy of 2 hours when she is crying again. I have 6 recently pulled out my "Solve your child's sleep problem" book which is phenomenal. It was so helpful with Tristan's sleep issues but hers are different. She has no problem getting herself to sleep at nap time and bedtime. We put her in her crib with her blankie, she sucks her thumb and off she goes into blissful slumber. But when she awakens during the night, which is normal for all sleep cycles, she becomes completely alert and wants her momma. She cannot seem to soothe herself back to sleep.

I have never been a "cry it out" mom. I shared a while back about my struggle with fear and as a result want to make sure my children get a response when they call. I never want them to feel insecure or alone. And I am sure I have compounded the problem because I respond quickly so Tristan and Eden are not awakened by her crying.

What happens though is every few weeks my body seems to crash. Like my body doesn't want to move. Seriously. I sit and my body feels like a big hunk of lead. At least what I imagine lead feels like. Sometimes when those days hit emotionally I am still "up" and so I push through. Those are the moments my reserves comes in handy. But days like today....my body feels heavy and my emotional reserves are on empty. Suddenly, things don't feel as manageable and i become snippy with my kids and my husband. I want someone to tell me to just go to bed for a while. But that isn't feasible. So what do I do?

Sometimes I remain a bear. And sometimes, like right now, I begin to recite how blessed I am. So...here goes.

Even though I am up all night I at least have a home to sit in. I am not on a dirt floor in a hut. And I don't have to carry water for 8 hours the next day that will only make my children sick.

Even though the laundry is still staring at me I can at least throw it in a machine and not have to carry it to a dirty river to rinse it out.

Even though I feel uninspired to make food for my family I am not digging in the dirt and finding termites to feed my children.

And I go on and on......suddenly things don't look so bad. And suddenly my reserves start filling back up.

And on that note I am eternally grateful for my God. Who knew that I needed a beautiful little girl, to take me to the end of myself, so that I would realized just how blessed my life really is. So instead of napping (in my dreams I am) I will go outside and play some basketball with my youngins' and then make some cupcakes to celebrate the life of my daughter. Three cheers for the craziness of life today!! And for children who scoot up next to you only to sneeze all over you. Yup! Just happened! Beautiful!!