Ministry of Motherhood

For some reason, I have seldom felt as though what I do on a daily basis is unimportant. I find great satisfaction in being home and being with my children. Maybe it is because I know how much I benefitted from having my mother at home. In fact, it isn't unusual for one of my sisters to call me (or vise versa) and say, "Hey. Do you know where Mom is? I have been trying to call her and haven't reached her." We still even as adults find comfort in knowing she is available to us.

Now....lets go back to my opening statement. I seldom feel that what I do on a daily basis is unimportant. Mundane? Yes. Exhausting? Yes. Unnoticed? Yes. Unappreciated? Sometimes. Worth it? Absolutely!!

I was briefly chatting with a friend online today about the frustrations of balancing the here and now and desiring to pursue passions that God has placed on out hearts. Good passions! God given passions! Yet, we cannot long so much for the future that we miss the precious moments of today.

I have moments and sometimes entire days of frustration. Feeling like I am making little to no progress with a child's' attitude or behavior. Feeling like I am getting nothing accomplished. Just recently I caught myself on the verge of saying to Mark that I got nothing done that day. Fortunately I stopped in time because Shane was sitting in the room and I had spent a chunk of time playing games with him. How would he have felt if he would have heard me say I had gotten nothing accomplished? That my "stuff" was more important than time with him. I am sure there have been times I have said those very words in the presence of my children and was completely insensitive to them.

I have to remind myself so often that I am raising children not a home. My home is naturally going to be in disarray since five children carouse and expend there energy here. And I am slowly but surely getting over the fear of peoples perceptions of me. You know....how women feel like their children, their home, their husbands are a reflection of them somehow. And I have gotten to the point where I no longer apologize if someone stops by and it looks like a toy store was sick and vomited in my home. It is what it is!! Those minutes spent with Shane filling his love tank were worth way more than having a clean kitchen.

We did a little valentines craft and it revealed to me Shane's love language. We cut out good sized paper hearts, wrote the names of everyone in our family on a heart and then took turns writing something about that person that we love. Every single thing Shane wrote on the hearts had to do with spending time with that person. Playing games, snuggling, reading.....quality time is huge for him. And that is just one of my children. Each one is so special and unique in their design.

Being a mother, in my opinion , is one of the most important jobs on the planet. A mothers touch can be infinitely gentle or can be devastatingly harmful. I mothers words can bring life or can bring death. A mother has the power to make her home a haven or a place of pain. To be honest...I think I have encompassed all of the above things in my victories and failures as a mother. By God's grace, as I give him the room to work deep in my heart I can become more and more the mother with a gentle touch, life giving words who abides with her children in a safe environment.

Being a mother is not for the faint hearted! It is taxing and so many days I feel like I muddle through. When is the last time I woke up rested and ready for the day? Umm......can't remember. But this is the nature of the job description. There is nothing in motherhood that says you can hold onto your selfishness. Well...you can but it won't be very rewarding.

On that note, I am going to try to fold some of the laundry - that was done two days ago. Yes. You heard me. Two days ago. My plans were to fold it yesterday afternoon but I ended up spending time in the ER with my Shane boy. Which will be another post later today when I can actually take some pictures of his newly casted leg! He and the ski slope didn't get along too well.

Or the laundry may wait since I many instead put into practice what I just wrote and spend time playing with the "littles". They are playing with their blankies, some stuffed animals and the beaters from my mixer??? I may just get the video camera and record the moments.