First of all.....thank you for all the sweet comments after my last rant. There is some measure of comfort in knowing I am not alone (even though deep down I already know). Aunt Ada, I had to laugh when you mentioned getting a shower without kids calling for you. I sometimes try to escape to the bathroom for a few quiet moments but their little radars come out and they come searching.
I am enjoying my children to a much greater degree since my last post. Multiple things were at play as I look back. Much looser schedules since it was Christmas vacation, high doses of sugar, late bedtimes, some PMSing, sleep disturbances.....you get the picture.
I function much better as a mom, wife, friend, person when I have routine. I feel like I have lost my spontaneity in so many ways. I think it will return when my children reach ages where they are a bit more flexible. I cannot tell you how wonderful this week has felt just having our normal routine back. I am not dreading the early mornings nearly as much.
Another thing that I didn't realize was weighing on me so much was trying to decipher behaviours in Eden. Are they personality related, or adoption related? Are they attachment related? How do you figure all this out? I have been doing a lot of research and reading to try and get a grasp on things. Then I thought, "Why not call the woman who did our home study?" Long story short... I called her....we spoke at length and she was just amazingly encouraging. She was able to help us figure out that indeed we are dealing with some adoption related issues. I will into more detail at some point. But I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders!! We have some things to work on and she gave us some great advice. I feel as though we are going to make progress. And in fact I feel like over the past 4 days we have already made progress. Eden did not have to sit in a time-out today until after dinner time. That in itself is an act of God!!
*sidenote and completely irrelevant - watching the Alabama/Texas game and am so sad that Colt McCoy got hurt. I really like the kid. Okay...back to normal programming*
So...routine is back, have some things to implement with Eden and Heidi is now sharing a room with Eden. I was slightly terrified to put them in the same room seeing as though Eden thinks she can man-handle Heidi from time to time. I mentioned something to Eden at the beginning of the week about sharing a room with Heidi. I wanted to start talking her though the change and give her time to process it. She needed all of 5 minutes to completely rearrange her room. I kid you not!!! The first I was notified of the rearranging was when Eden came to me and informed me her bed was broken. I went to her room and she had moved her play kitchen, a table, her bed and everthing was kind of in a pile in the middle of the room. She looked at me all pleased and said, "Now Heidi can be in my room?" It was so precious! I wasn't really emotionally prepared to move Heidi out of our room yet but decided if Eden was ready we should go ahead and implement the move. Turns out...I am sleeping better and so is Heidi!! And Eden has behaved beautifully!
So life is returning to a semblence of normalcy. And I am feeling much better about being a mom. And at the moment I could use a snack!
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