Embarking on the Inevitable

In the whole journey of adoption there are certain things you encounter with your child that is unique only to their story. They walk through things that your other children never have to think about. The obvious things like skin color, seeing all the blank spaces on family medical history sections of paperwork and the questioning stares. And the not so obvious things like struggling with intense feelings of rejection. Inevitably they begin to ask questions about their family or origin. And fortunately for us we have some answers to give Eden. I am forever grateful that God chose to honor my request of entrusting us with a child who was a true orphan so that I have a few answers to give her.

Within the past few months Eden has become keenly aware of pregnant woman, babies, nursing, etc. She made an off-hand comment one day about me having had a brown baby and white babies come from my belly. I knew this was the moment that I would sit and we would start delving into the truth that I was not her first mommy. We sat and I started explaining that she had in fact grown in her brown mommy's belly and that her mommy must have been so excited when she was born! I went on to explain that her first mommy and daddy for some reason had to leave this earth and had died when she was itty-bitty. She was puzzled yet seemed to be understanding. I was struggling with tears that wanted to squeak past my eye-lids. The moments that I allow myself to think about what her mother must have felt when she realized she was dying and leaving this helpless beautiful little girl behind just breaks me.

She took all this information in and began verbally processing with me. She told me that when her mommy died she was very sad. (which i'm sure she was) She said that they put her in a crib and she cried. (again...I'm sure she did) And then she said that she prayed for us to come and we did!! (not so sure about that one)

I know she is far too young to fully grasp all of this but it was a good start to opening up how she came to be a part of our family.

But then at the end of last week Shane informed her that she has a brother in Ethiopia which opened up a whole new set of discussions and questions. When are we going to get him? Why isn't he here yet? Why aren't we going? What is his name? Talked her through those questions and told her we would continue to pray that God keeps Him safe. And assured her that someday we will try to go find him which we fully intend to do! Maybe if we adopt again within the next 2 years we will take extra time to go looking. That is what we have talked about anyhow.

Two weeks ago I took Eden to have a surgical procedure done on the side of her face. She had a benign cyst that had been bothering her for a good 9 months now and we decided to give it a try and see if she could handle having it removed. She did amazing!! I walked out of there so proud of her tenacity and how brave she was through all of it. There had been a promise given to her that she would receive a milk shake when everything was done. We stopped at the local dairy shop and waited in line to get her milk shake. A very nicely dressed older woman who seemed quite refined was behind us in line. She said to me, "May I ask you a personal question? Is your little girl adopted?" When people ask that question you never know what questions are going to follow. She seemed to gentle and kind and it felt safe to engage. I told ther that "yes, she is in fact adopted." She got a broad smile and said, "So am I! I was adopted 70 years ago! We are the lucky ones!" We talked for a few minutes and I was so encouraged by her sweet spirit. She could have remained quiet and not said anything to me. But her simple conversation with me was the highlight of that day!