This is the last picture we received of Eden before going to pick her up. I remember looking at her picture and thinking she looked even sadder than the 2 previous pictures we had received which broke my heart. You see some referral pictures that have happy, smiley babies who look like they are giggling but we didn't have any of those. I was struck with this reality again today upon seeing a beautiful little baby girl who will soon be joining our church family. Smiling and looks content. My mind flashed back to all the pictures we had of Eden before making the trip and I realized something. Her eyes are fearful. Distrusting. Sorrowful. And my heart broke anew. How naive I was to think we would rush in, scoop her up and fix her world! Her heart and mind had pathways already in place that are taking lots of time and love to reroute. I look at her almost every night while she is sleeping and ask God to continue to equip us to bring healing to her heart. We have seen tremendous progress this year. I realized while doing her annual report that I feel a new level of attachment has happened. I no longer feel like she would go with just anyone and be fine. I think she would desperately miss us and sees us clearly as her family. I do still feel like certain people who she really loves she would adjust with them and that still is a bit bothersome but can you blame her? She gets lots of special attention from people that fills her little tank. 
She is a ravishing beauty!! I am continuing to pray God captures her heart completely and that His beauty will radiate from her as she grows into a young woman. 
I don't think anyone could say that she isn't going to turn more than one head as she gets older! 
We really appreciate those of you who have prayed with us over the past year. We ask that you continue to pray when Eden comes to your mind. We have encountered some serious ugly over the past 6 weeks! We just really covet your prayers as we journey through this next layer of healing with her. Pray specifically for protection over my heart (sounds selfish) but my heart has been aching. It isn't easy knowing your child has experienced pain that is affecting them although they cannot begin to put into words what they feel. Eden will tell me sometimes as she is sobbing that she feels sad. Which is amazing considering every time I ask the boys what they are feeling I get an "I don't know." So would you join us in thanking God today for his preservation and protection in Eden's life? We are rejoicing today!
2 comments:
Becky, God had his plan when he connected Eden with you! I think about the 7 of you often, and pray that his Grace continues to guide you on your life journey together. She is a beautiful little girl, inside and out! I hope to meet her some day in person.
Miss you!
Koelle
Becky, I will pray for wisdom and understanding for you and Mark as God gives you insights into Eden's heart!
The pictures are gorgeous!
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