Our hearts skipped a beat as we saw this face for the very first time! The months of praying, paperwork and waiting culminated with this sighting! 
Beautiful didn't even seem adequate to define her! We were smitten.Mark and I lay in bed last night reminiscing the day of our referral call. Every detail etched into our minds! She was tiny, precious and in need of a families love. And God chose our family! We have been forever changed!
This past year we have encountered some exhausting challenges! The angry outburst, the retaliation in the form of peeing anywhere and everywhere, gravitating towards other people instead of me.....unless you have walked the road of adoption it is really hard to convey the emotions involved. Just a week ago things kind of came to a head again in my heart. I found myself really struggling. Eden had asked for something and I gave her an answer she didn't like. She threw a small cardboard children's book that connected with my eye! I cannot even tell you how badly it hurt! My eye was swollen and painful. But we sat on her bed sobbing together. Even now I have tears as I type. The pain in my heart was almost unbearable! Feeling alone in my battle to win my daughter's heart! I felt isolated, alone, defeated.....and right on the heels of the hurt I felt the fiercest of loves for her! I love her with every fabric of my being! She has experienced loss in her short little life that would cause any of us to be distrusting of other people.
When we come to mind over the next year would you pray for the final pieces of our attachment to become solidified? That her little heart would know and experience a deep healing through our consistent love. That God would equip us to parent and love her daily! And if you have any tips, scriptures, Words for God please pass them along. We cherish knowing that this journey of life is shared with people we love and who love us.
3 comments:
This is beautiful! Can't even imagine the emotions, feelings! I think of you so often, read your blog regularly and am thankful how our paths have crossed. You are walking further along in the road that we have just begun...thank you for your words and "living" your life on here. And know that I am praying, for you and for Eden.
Aww, Becky, it hurts to think of all the love you've invested in Eden, and to be treated like this. I fully believe your efforts and love will not be wasted. God give you grace to Be Strong!
Love,
Aunt Ada
Becky, I teared up too, reading what you wrote! I know VERY well the intense feelings that come. The power struggles, the questions about attachment. Though the journey isn't done for us yet, I do have a young lady who is tutoring a younger student as a part time job. I see mine developing independence and making healthy choices SOMETIMES! There is hope!~e
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