It has been a few weeks since I wrote my post about weariness and I would like to say I have done better at letting go of things and rolling with the punches! But.....wait for it......I am still having to learn everyday! I am still finding my stress levels high, my frustration levels higher and continuing to wonder where the joy is hiding amidst the added activities of the Christmas season. A few things happened this week to help get my focus back in the proper direction. The main one being numerous talks with my man. He knows me better than anyone and he is able to listen to my ramblings and decipher the underlying issues pretty well. And Amy....you were right on when you said in the moments you feel like you need alone time that what you really need is alone time with Him!
Bottom line for me: I place a lot of expectations on myself and I have too high of expectations in general. Can anyone else relate? I somehow think that since I have so much extra to do that my kids will automatically put the fighting on hold. I assume that I will be able to accomplish all the normal demands as well as all the extras on my "to-do" list in the same amount of time. And when the normal interruptions that come with having small children happen I find myself aggravated!
I am purposing to write some things down this Christmas season to revisit next fall so I can hopefully ward off the downward spiral. Now....to make things clear I haven't been a scrooge and I haven't had a bah-humbug kind of attitude about Christmas. I really like everything about Christmas. I just have been too worried about what I am forgetting and what isn't getting done to completely bask in the wonder in my children's eyes! This next week until Christmas day I am going to really try and pull back, take my cues from my children and spend extra time down on the floor doing whatever it is my kids do all day! And right now that means snuggling with my Heidi girl who suddenly thinks she is too big to be held much. Except when it is time for me to make dinner. Then I am the best thing that has happened to her all day!!
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