On to the next one - Mr. Judah

Judah.....where to start? How about I tell you some of the things he wrote about himself the first week of school. He had to write a word about himself for each letter of his name. Can't for the life of me remember what they are called. I giggled and then laughed out loud upon reading his. Fortunately he wasn't in the room.

J - Joyful
U - Uperman (?)
D - Dad (?)
A - Apple Luver (his spelling)
H - Horsepower (????)

He is so many things on any given day. He gets easily overwhelmed, is dramatic and emotional. He has an infectious giggle and the deepest chocolate eyes. He has gotten himself up every morning for school which has surprised me. He even woke me up this morning after I hit the wrong button on my alarm and fell back to sleep. Fortunately he hasn't found the snooze button on his alarm yet.

Since he operates with such intensity we can clash easily and quickly. I need a lot of emotional reserves to work him through his feelings (which are often untrue) and to be truthful, I don't feel like I have much reserves right now. It has been an interesting season in our relationship. I read something the other day that resonated with me and is causing me to shift my thinking. It was in regards to how you view your children and how you then treat them. So often parents (me included) view their children as a project. Who wants to feel like a project? I had that experience a few years back - I felt like I was someone's project and it felt horrible. You didn't feel respected at all. I do believe that there needs to be a level of mutual respect between parents and their children. They are individuals, have feelings, desire to be heard just like I want those things. I am not saying that it becomes a peer relationship. Far from that. But there are moments of friendship which make the correcting of character and heart issues easier.

I believe Judah needs to know I hear him. Even though his ramblings often are incoherent. He gets himself into an emotional tale spin and everything comes out jumbled. Mark and I look at each other sometimes with big question marks on our faces?

Judah said to me the other day, "Mom...you are the best mom in the world! Even though we have our problems, you are the best mom!" I said, "Thank you Judah." And I walked away pondering the huge BUT in the middle. Even though we have our problems.........I wonder what he was remembering?

My main thing that I am working on right now is implementing more understanding, trying to hear him but not necessarily empathize if the feelings are unfounded and just view him as my son. My dear sensitive son! He is growing up far too fast and I think I am starting to wonder how to stay connected to your son when they get big. I know there is a natural withdrawal that will happen in some areas but I don't want them to encroach on the sweet bond we have.

I feel like this post came out more about me in regards to my relationship with Judah than about him. I think that is because I feel a bit unsure of where to go from here.

J - Joyful (Absolutely!)
U - Uperman (he is superman!)
D - Dad (Someday)
A - Apple Luver (Oh...he is definitely an apple lover!)
H - Horsepower (Umm....not sure)

He is my sweet boy who is now 8 1/2. Where has the time gone?! I love Judah to the ends of the earth!!